By Sister Nancy Linenkugel
Covid-19 stay-at-home restrictions continue, and in Ohio these are in place until at least May 1, 2020. One microscopic germ may be shutting down the world, but the world is fighting back and will overcome this virus by the sheer tenacity and steadfastness of the behaviors we’re all employing. We’re staying at home, washing our hands and surfaces frequently, and wearing masks if we do go out. Yes, this is serious business.
But as mentioned in the prior blog, St. Francis of Assisi was a person of joy. Even amid all this Covid-19 seriousness, St. Francis would find joy. Fear and anxiety are real emotions, but so is funny. Humor helps us get through challenging times.
Here are a few more St.-Francis-approved funnies I hope you’ll enjoy:
“Is anyone still doing nails and hair?”
“Yes, the local mortician. Stay home!”
(Husband) “Honey, are you OK? You look like you’re not feeling well.”
(Wife) “Oh, I’m fine. I just have morning sickness.”
(Husband) “Morning sickness? Wow—are you pregnant?”
(Wife) “Oh, no. I’m just sick of facing another morning doing schoolwork with our kids at home.”
“Feeling guilty about kids watching too much TV during the stay-at-home situation? Just mute the sound and switch to subtitles. Boom! They’re reading.”
“We isolate ourselves so that when we get back together no one is missing.”
“Be like Darth Vader: he wears a mask, he doesn’t visit his son and daughter, he’s socially distant, and he follows orders.”
“What composer got the coronavirus? DryCoughsky.”
“The 11th day of self-isolation and it’s like Las Vegas in this house: we’re losing money by the minute, cocktails are acceptable at any hour, and nobody knows what time it is.”
“Now playing everywhere: HOME ALONE.”
“Now I know why dogs get so excited to go for walks.”
“My car is getting three weeks to the gallon right now.”
“In case you’ve lost track of days, today is March 87th.”
“Let’s not forget that Rapunzel was quarantined and she still met her future husband, so think positively.”
Sign in a jewelry store: “Toilet paper $3,999 and free one carat diamond ring with purchase.”
(Job interviewer) “I see a gap in your resume. What were you doing in 2020?”
(Job candidate) “Looking for toilet paper.”
“Spread chili pepper on your hands. It does nothing against the coronavirus, but you learn really fast not to touch your face.”
“In an unsettling reversal of my teenage years, I am now yelling at my parents for going out.”
“Is Covid-19 really that serious? Consider this: churches and casinos alike are closed. When heaven and hell agree on the same thing, yes, it’s serious.
“Roses are red, April is gray. I pray we can all leave our houses in May.
And here’s that final inspiring thought taken directly from St. Francis of Assisi’s playbook:
“When the dust settles, we will realize how very little we need, how very much we actually have, and the true value of human connection. Empty streets, restaurants, stadiums, theaters, stores, etc. isn’t the end of the world. It’s the most remarkable act of global solidarity we may ever witness.”
Blessings, everyone, stay safe, and may there be something funny to enjoy every day.
Oh Sr. Nancy, thank you for these quicker picker uppers to put humor into these days. Though most serious and terrible, thanks for putting a smile on our faces and lifting our weighted hearts. We are in this together.