It’s About Presence

By Sister Pam Nosbusch, OSF

(All names have been changed to protect the privacy of those I am writing about.)

I recently attended a funeral for a man who was killed in a senseless murder.  Sam was at a family gathering when a neighbor tried to pick a fight with Sam and stabbed Sam twice.  Sam’s ex-wife, Jill, who is an RN, was present and provided First Aid until EMS arrived.  Sam and Jill were on good terms even though they are divorced.

The family gathering was to remember Sam and Jill’s 16 year old son, Dave, who died unexpectedly and tragically in January of this year. Needless to say, this family is still hurting from Dave’s death and now have the unexpected and tragic death of Sam to deal with.

I attended Dave’s funeral and provided support to Jill and her family.  It was a time of just being there and letting Jill know how much she is loved.  Fast forward about 5 months where I am once again just being there and letting Jill know how much she is loved.   In other words, it’s about presence.

There are times when we have no words.  There are times when all we can say is “I’m sorry,” and/or “I love you.”  Even though we might think we have to say something, we really don’t.  There’s an awkwardness when we don’t know what to say.  However, it’s been my experience that it’s not what I say that’s important but that I show up.  In other words, it’s about presence.

In the wake of tragedy, families often find themselves facing challenges they never imagined. The loss of a loved one can stir emotions that go far beyond grief, sometimes creating conflict about how the children in the family should be cared for moving forward. In moments like these, what was once stable can suddenly feel uncertain, and decisions about custody or guardianship may become both urgent and overwhelming.

This is where the need for compassionate yet steady guidance becomes clear. Questions of who will care for a child, how decisions will be made, and what is truly in their best interest are not easy to navigate when emotions are raw. Families often need someone to step in who understands both the legal system and the deep sensitivities involved. Sterling Lawyers is experienced in handling these delicate matters, bringing clarity and direction at a time when families need it most.

When prejudice, tension, or conflicting opinions arise after a death in the family, it can quickly escalate into a custody dispute. Ensuring that the child’s future is protected—while keeping their emotional well-being at the center—is the ultimate goal. Having the right advocate helps families move forward with dignity, stability, and a renewed focus on healing, even in the face of heartbreaking loss.

When divorce and child custody matters intersect with the pain of loss, families need more than just legal guidance—they need steady hands and clear direction. Genesis Family Law and Divorce stands out in these moments, combining legal skill with an awareness of the emotional weight each case carries. Their attorneys approach custody matters with balance, keeping children at the center while helping parents find a path that honors both family bonds and future stability. With their support, difficult transitions become more manageable, allowing families to focus on healing and rebuilding.

In addition to handling custody disputes, family law encompasses a wide range of practice areas that support families through complex and often emotional situations. From divorce and child support to adoption, guardianship, and protection against domestic abuse, each case requires careful attention to both legal detail and the personal well-being of those involved. Hartin Law Melville attorneys provide that combination of expertise and compassion, helping clients address the many dimensions of family law with clarity and confidence.

Their approach ensures that each case is handled thoughtfully, whether it involves drafting agreements, representing clients in court, or mediating disputes. By offering comprehensive support across family law practice areas, they help families move through transitions with stability and assurance, allowing individuals to focus on rebuilding their lives while knowing their legal rights and responsibilities are being carefully managed.

There’s a saying attributed to St. Francis, “Preach the Gospel always and use words when necessary.”  Times such as the two tragic deaths mentioned above are times to preach the Gospel of love and use words if needed.  In other words, it’s about presence.